I don’t know what is before and after it. It would be expected to say that I know what is during. But at this point I do not know either. As my head is lightly spinning from the poisons going to my body the most un materialistic thing -thoughts – are non stop swirling inside and around as well. Some kind of cathartic unrecognized feeling is like a halo around me puts my body in a slow mode and pushes it to exhale the thought in the only way I know – to write.

To breath is to survive – that is how all live creatures survive and I do not see much difference between the live creatures that walk on four, crawl, fly, swim or live next door from myself. We are all connected.  We are all one. I find it so overwhelming to see that it is still a struggle and an unaccepted thought for so many.

Even though at the same time on this planet earth so incredibly many things are happening varying on a wide scale from total despair to total happiness – we are still one. The other and the others’ reality and feelings and thoughts are “just“ and extension of me and mine.  I am just and extension of you.

On a bad day every bit of me expects to melt into you where you can cope with my bad bits. And on a good day every bit of me wants to carry you on a high cloud of euphoria in order to share and lift you up if you are in need of it. Reciprocity and mutuality.

You can be a physical stranger. A body that I have never met but a soul from the same universe that was floating with my soul once or will be floating with it again.

As some people just meters away are fooling around, celebrating nobody knows what and thinking that it is what life is about…other people are mourning their loved ones who left them unexpectedly in fear, pain and loneliness. While some of my fellow souls are deep into a thought that simply by diving into some logical actions stretching from a to z can help themselves and the others, different souls are meditating and trying to reach the enlightenment, believing that this is the only way through and forward.

I fear that this absolutely praised creature who lives just because it gets air into its lungs has become its worst enemy. I fear that the lack of introspection is killing me as your extension and you as mine.

It is incomprehensible for me why it still is so difficult to understand that only by realizing that we all need the same basic things makes us all equal and therefor worth exactly same things. You are not more than me. I am not bigger than you. You should not take up more space on the pale blue dot than me. And I have no need nor right to tell you how much space you are worth.

It is so simple, yet so unrealistic in the current times.

I do not posses the vocabulary that could express my feelings and willingness to take your pain away. To make you realize that life is much more than here and now, that you are me and I am you if you just let this concept to sink in.

I do not have better tools than my words and my body to melt with your words and your body. Let me caress you now because I can and you will caress me when I am stumbling and down.

I am hesitant to use terms like good and bad, happy and sad because they are so one dimensional and describing almost nothing. The whole universe is inside of each body and soul and each one of us is in the same universe.

Let the feeling of loss go into the wilderness of the space. The grief, fear, unmet expectations are our imaginary friends that come and go and we mustn’t think that we are alone with them nor that we should chain ourselves to them.

Life happens through us. Life is like the water and air – it runs and breathes through each one of us.

Come. I will hold you in my arms as I do not know how to hold you with my thoughts and heart.





Komentarų: 1

  1. heavy duty said,

    spalio 20, 2014 at 04:08

    Shit, how deep! Now look what you done. You made me cry.

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